Conscious experience… what’s that?

Lying in bed, feeling amid a storm. You feel you want to escape reality. You exit, you pause, you say you need to rest. But you don’t know HOW, thoughts seem to ‘eat’ you from the inside. You say it is difficult to stop thinking, and anxiety takes over you from time to time. It feels like you are alone, fighting battle after battle.

Let me tell you a secret... you are not suppose to suffer, you are NOT SUPPOSE TO FIGHT.

Lying in bed, when I could not handle it anymore. The voice from the inside said ‘Switch off the telephone and rest’.

So, I saw myself, my body and the Ego as if it wasn’t me. As if somebody else was observing my body and the character. I was watching my pain from the outside, there were no more need to identify myself with it. Feeling like everything’s okay, I fell aspleep and had several dreams tonight: crashing planes, an accident with a dog… all of them were about RESCUING (people or animals). The characters were crying for help, which finally arrived. I saved several people in 2 plane catastrophes and a dog which technically was already dead. 

Since all dreams carry a message/meaning, my dreams told me… ‘YOU ARE YOUR ONLY RESCUER’. People will also help you, don’t be afraid to ask for help, they are willing to give a helping hand. Think twice before rejecting help. However, NOBODY will ever help you if YOU are not willing to HELP YOURSELF. 

What about Consiousness? Beacause your body, experience, reality is real only for the character inside you, also the EGO. Consiousness is the ability to step outside and to see all this theater, dramas, laughter and crying going on.

Suddenly, you desidentify of your character, you are the OBSERVER. You no longer know who you are, you make questions. All is shifting, sometimes it’s painful (most of the times). But you are evolving, expanding. The point of all evolution… you are in  the <divine> chain to become a butterfly. ALL IS WELL (repeat this to yourself daily, for your ego/mind doesn’t know how perfectly and divinely orhestrated everything is… you need to TRUST and BELIEVE that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR YOU).

The first thing you observe, is YOUR BREATH. It goes naturally, in and out, you just observe the air coming and going, and the rhythm of your body. Furthermore, your breath revels the speed and the state of your thoughts (is it calm? is it rushing?). 

Secondly, remember to make a pause from time to time, and to observe your steps, consciously put your attention in your feet as you walk. Slow steps, feeling the shoes, how they touch the earth’s surface. Feel the gentle air or the harsh wind on your face. Pay attention to the state of your eyes…relax the forehead. Just put your attention in the outer existential world: YOUR BODY, whether you like it or not, it’s a blessing to the world, to life and to All. This is a meditation you can do anywhere at amy time. Some people live in a constant meditative state, aware of all that’s going on around them. It is a considerable and intense relief to the mind and thoughts. 


Thank you.


Published by Anastasia Tubulkan

Conscious, I see myself reflected in your eyes, for we are one. And one is God. For god is imagination, And imagination is everything. You can buy me a coffee: Bizum: +34684155389 PayPal: @AnastasiiaTubulkan Thank you!

2 thoughts on “Conscious experience… what’s that?

  1. Congratulations for the post and many thanks for sharing your vital and deep reflections.
    It reminds me a talk that I heard in a radio programme few days ago where someone was trying to answer the question of what is love. It seems a difficult one, but for me is so easy. The real love and the purest one is that one that comes from us. Understand it is the key of wellness. Still today I am struggling to open my heart to my own love and accept being rescue by him. Until we don’t embrace it we will not be able to live in plenitude, peace, calm our annoying inner voice as well as “love” those around us. This will involve facing your Ego, your fears and the rejection of make changes in your comfortable routine.

    Still lost it and waiting to be rescued…

    Thanks A. for being the reflection of my consciousness.


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